SOMETHING FISHY
The moment my enormous intellect woke up to me being a dead man, I knew there was not another moment to lose. Being connected to the plots and murder of some nancy actor it is my profession after all was one thing. The Dictator, that was another. Just ask the twenty thousand Populists who'd been knocked off for not agreeing with his politics.
Nope - that was it.
The flounder had to be pilfered.
And why not?
I was already marked in this conspiracy, I, or someone else, was going to make me disappear anyway. And the other conspirators were under the thumb already. Why else keep a wad of cash in a fish. That's how the clever coves had got those bonds out of Rome in the first place, in a fresh Tiber Flounder.
Someone was watching our plotters or the Phantom himself, and at least some of them knew it. So better for me to be off with the crook's catch under my arm than to run away empty-handed. I've always liked the idea of a self-funded retirement.
The cut with Porcia was a bust while she was wheeling and dealing with Baebius, and don't get me started again me and Gavius had to be gone tonight before Lucius Sulla showed. Goodness knew when the Phantom meant to strike, but I didn't intend to be around to find out.
So grabbing my pale bug-eyed comrade-in-arms we were off to the closest public latrine to ponder our next move. He was less enthusiastic than I thought he ought. But explaining the likelihood of the Dictator's Rose Guild that merry band of spies and assassins who made actors seem positively wonderful company soon hunting us down, he saw things in a more confident light.
He threw up again and mentioned something about my testicles coming to an unhappy end. As if I hadn't heard that several times today already.
Now the thing about public latrines, is, as the name suggests, they are public. Any sort of odd bod might find the time to use these conveniences, sharing their most unpleasant digestive problems with everyone about them. Privacy is not as big a matter as the civility of a flushing toilet. And despite loud whispering, I have discovered people might overhear things.
This is never a problem when you're in a strange town, because no one is supposed to know you, and as everyone is going about their own business, they're not likely to be looking around to remember a face.
Of course the napping Fates nixed that didn't they.
In a brand new green silk walking dress bought on some poor sod's credit, hopefully it wasn't mine with a red wrap hiding her long blonde tresses, Curtia had been sitting in poised delicacy. Grotty toilet-sponge in hand her back to us. I didn't even notice our troop's registered vixen until she stood up to smooth down that sodding dress.
Then as if nothing was the matter she turned around and smiled, Don't be too long boys, you'll get piles.
And she was gone. Her sweet little derriere swinging behind her. I must admit, even in these terrible times my thoughts wandered off to her and me and a lot of money.
Money.
I racked my brain, part of it not focusing at all. Gavius and me had only mentioned a rich fish and the Rose Guild. Not enough to put together the plot, but enough to know we were hatching a plan. Sod it, Baebius was minutes away from discovering us.
Oh balls, I groaned.
What are we going to do now? Gavius whined.
Get out of here, you half starved wart, before Baebius catches us, I declared, pulling my occasionally useful friend from the wooden throne he was warming.
As usual he was full of complaint.
But I'm not finished, he said, still reaching for the sponge.
Sometimes it's best just to leave things where they are.
